I went on a date Sunday and it was terrifying because we went out to dinner (it was my idea, not sure what I was thinking). Since leaving treatment I hadn't been able to eat in front of other people without having a panic attack so I was pretty convinced that the guy would run for the hills for sure. The night before the date we were talking and he asked about the meaning of my new tattoo, I figured I'd be honest and if he couldn't handle it then that would be that. To my surprise he was totally fine with it and very supportive and he thanked me for being honest with him.
Although I knew he said he was ok with it I was still not convinced and was terrified that either I wouldn't be able to eat or I'd force myself to eat and then restrict the next day to punish myself. However, I had a great time and was very happy that I went. I was completely shocked when we left and I realized that I had eaten a salad, my main dish and half of my dessert without even thinking about it! Plus I had no negative or guilty thoughts about how much I ate. This guy had quite the effect on me and he piqued my interest.
When I got home that night my living arrangement fell apart and I had to find a place to live by the next day. I couldn't find anyone to stay with and broke down and cried when my date sent me a text telling me he had a really great time and that he wanted to see me again. I needed someone to talk to so I called him and when he asked why I was upset I told him everything, he was not happy.
The next morning around 6:30 I got a text from him that said I was welcome to go stay with him and his family. I was thrilled and anxious, I had only gone on one date with this guy and now I was going to live with his family? I had no where else to go so I accepted and I'm so glad that I did. His family is amazingly nice and so sweet. Since the date on Sunday night I've been eating 100% of my meals, I'm that comfortable around him and his family. I didn't realize how stressed I'd actually been and ended up sleeping pretty much all of the past two days. Things are going well between me and the guy too, he's very respectful and makes me smile, which I hadn't been doing lately. My therapist was ecstatic about this turn of events and told me this was exactly what I needed. She also pointed out the huge change in my mood since the last time she saw me.
Hopefully this guys mom was right when she said "You've had such a hard time sweety, but this is the start of your luck turning around."
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